Saturday, November 12, 2011

Shameful Memory #...Oh, Thousands: Foot In My Mouth

It's back to this. Allow me to empty out my head a little more. I've got to admit, it's therapeutic. My previous Shameful Memories have pretty much all faded to Amusing Memories which I consider a resounding triumph in my mental health.

But here's the thing: I have so many more! The shame creeps out all over the place. Over the past months, I have felt that old familiar twinge - the one that urges me to 'Quick! Go hide yourself, flee the country, or die quietly!" - many, many times. Most of these memories are so minor, brief one-liners uttered in haste. Perhaps I can't even remember the context; I just remember the moment of horror when I said the wrong thing.

I have:

- Collectively made fun of the girls on the high school dance team to one of its members.
- Mocked Amway to a girl who had Amway salespeople for relatives.
- Criticized the dental industry to an aspiring dentist who came from a family of dentists.
- Complained about how I was spending too much money on other people to someone for whom I had just bought dinner.
- Made a seemingly degrading comment about Baptists to people of that denomination. Twice, two different sets of people.
- Been blatantly size-ist in front of an overweight person.
- Said how terrible it would be to have twins to a twin.
- Whined to friends about having too many baby clothes to deal with moments before opening their present (which was clothes) for my baby.
- Scoffed at tea time to a British person.
- Acted horrified at the thought of someone (else) being gay to someone whose mom is gay.
- Used the adjective 'colored' in a sentence to a black man (not referring to race, but when do you ever use that word? Honestly!).
- Talked about how I wish we could just cut the states between Oregon and Illinois out of the United States because 'nobody needs them' to someone who was from Iowa.
- Complimented two people with wigs (because of hair loss) on their hair cuts. Two separate occurrences!
- Talked enthusiastically about a baby's small size to her mom who was concerned because she was dangerously underweight from not eating.

Please note that none of these were intentional. It's not like I was seeking to criticize or even to be honest only to regret having said something later. I simply forgot to stifle, misspoke, didn't remember the one thing about the person I was supposed to remember before talking. Maybe I didn't even mean what I said, I was just making conversation. I'm sure I'm not alone here. Right? This is something that everyone goes through, talking without thinking. (Please, tell me it's true.) I'm curious, though, whether everyone else catalogs these episodes the way I do.

I'd love to hear your "foot in your mouth" moments too. Anyone got some they can share? We can all have a good laugh together and shake it off. Consequently, if you were the recipient of any of my above foolish words, I humbly apologize.


  1. I remember one I did to you guys! I was at your house one Christmas Eve when we were maybe 19, and you and I were talking, and I said something to the effect of, "I'm not really into Winnie the Pooh anymore" (like I was in high school). Then the next day was Christmas and I opened a gift from your family and it was a Winnie the Pooh pillowcase! (Which I actually STILL use and like all these years later.) But the second I opened it, i was like *facepalm*. Nice one, Molly!

  2. Molly, ha! I don't remember ever giving you that pillowcase, so - believe me - we did not take offense (or even notice)! I am glad you've gotten some good use out of it, however!